Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I need Money

copyright 6/09

I need money
It is sooo not funny
Horses need shoes
and a shot or two
Whatever am I to do?

I need money
and it's not funny
What happened to the tree
that dropped cash down on me?
Blew away in the cold wind
after the market freeze came

I need money
man, it really isn't funny
Want a new car
Can't catch that star
It's way too far

I need money
yeah, I know, it isn't funny
Tried to win lotto
and that hasn't worked

Should have used that dollar
put it to better use
buying HRT for me
so I don't blow a fuse

I need money
it is actually funny
Got everything I need
Home,husband and animals
All who I can still feed

God drops gifts on us every day
somehow, someway
the money will appear
Maybe even today!

Friday, June 19, 2009


copyright 6/09

So many years
Yelling in each other's ears
Battling all through Prep School
Never giving in
Everything was your way
or the highway
No matter what I said

Live in my house
Live by my rules
So I moved out
and lived at school
The nuns were easier to handle than you

Thirty years older than me
A good father you tried to be
Kicking and screaming all the way
Rebellion and bad choices
you dealt with me every day

Today your memory fails
and your hearing is nearly gone
But I will always remember the days
when everything would go wrong
You were always there to say
You're safe and sound
Everything's going to be okay

So now on this special day
It's my turn to you I say
Dad, you're safe and sound
Everything's going to be okay

Hope this poem makes you glad
I love you very much
for being MY Very Special Dad

Writer's Block

copyright 6/09

Writer's block
Is it a street
or a neighborhood?
Writer's block
How did I get here
through blank spaces in the mind
Trying to unwind

Doors closed shut
Need to open
Thoughts non existent
Empty road
No expressions

Writer's block
No one home

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Three Gifts

copyright June 2009

Three gifts I was given
pen in hand
Writing and Riding is who I am

Who would have known
only One always knew
that my true path
would always come through

Believe in yourself and conquer
dreams showing light and wonder
Knowing before it happens
Feeling the thought
God comes through
all that we do
Writing and Riding
bring out what is true

The third gift one very special
was given to me to use carefully

Messages come in loud and clear
letting me know what will be
Doesn't matter what it is
The universe opens up and the answers appear

Tune in to how it feels
as the thoughts come and go
Time doesn't exist
as you well know

This other place that seems to be
between two worlds so apart but so near
Always present if you have the ear
to listen intently and learn
that the universe is there
to meet all that you yearn

It can happen anywhere
eating lunch or shopping
When a thought pops in
and you suddenly know
what's around the corner
for you or a friend in tow

Over the years it settled in me
that horse and pen will always be
the best way to connect
with what has always been around me
Some say they're angels
Some say they're family
I say thank God for these gifts
that I may always see
at any age in any place
what is most important to me
always dear is my family

One horse very special
an old soul is he
helping me along
on this most interesting journey

Friday, June 5, 2009

Sister Bernard

copyright 6/09

Sister Bernard I will always remember
Tiny woman, brisk and brittle
With an Irish brogue she spoke
She never sounded little

Assigned to write stories
I handed mine in
about an alien from space
trying to fit in with the human race

She said I had talent
a gift as it were
"Correct the punctuation" she said
"I want to enter it there"

A contest of creativity and writing skills
I was just seventeen
and ignored her requests
made earnestly every day
until finally put to rest

She was so disappointed
I did not comply
She believed in me
I let the opportunity slip by

Sister Bernard was my biggest fan
me, at seventeen
Such a shame
I was so in between

Now as I look back
Thirty plus years or so
Sister Bernard always comes to mind
and the way she tried to show
An early Angel trying to lead me on
to the path I would eventually know

A passion still growing
writing to write
back then I didn't know

Thank you Sister Bernard
for doing your best
Believing in me even though
I never met your requests

I took the long road
as often some do
And got here eventually
reaching our goal

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Navy and Gray

copyright 6/09

Stately elegant halls
we walked through every day
Marble floors, oriental rugs
French Provincial they say

Black and whites stroll the corridors
meeting us in classes one by one
To teach us Math, History, Latin and more
Navy and gray is what we wore

Pressed button downs under our navy blazers
Plaid skirts and navy knee socks
always sliding down to our loafers

No makeup allowed
Clean washed faces abound
as we sauntered with our books
down the great marble halls

Our homes were our suites
each to her own
Connected by a bathroom
a bed, dresser and desk
We could do our homework
throwing items through the door
laughing quietly trying not to be heard
by the nun in her room at rest
just down the hall

Mass in the Chapel every morning at six
Black and whites waking you up
God awaits your voices
You cannot be sick

At night in the dining room
all of us met
Every age short and tall
bound by the same regret
We were eating dry hamburger
while in the next room
Nuns were fed steak
on their dinner break

All us girls got along
Some from countries so distant
Oil families, Senators and celebrities
Still all the same, teenagers one
Determined to seek out the most fun

I remember the day everyone quiet
with Sister Bernard sitting in English
while secretly being planned
what seemed to be a harmless little riot

First my roommate stole my shoe
tied it on a rope hung out the window
While Kelly and Margaret went up to the roof
and rolled fifty toilet paper rolls down all the sides
White paper streaming past the glass
while everyone ran around in their class

Nuns mouths opened wide
They were totally surprised
All this toilet paper falling down before their eyes

Kelly, Margaret and crew
and their grand plan a success
a last hurrah before graduation
What could the school really do?

Cab Calloway and Captain Kangaroo
were some of the fathers that we knew
Quite a cast of characters were we
moving together through puberty

Choir and Spring Musicales
we had alot of fun
Playing sports nothing undone
Basketball, Field Hockey, Horseback riding too
Walks on the grounds
Mother Mary watching us do
Statues and grottos for sneaking cigarettes
some joints even made it through

We never got caught
in all our misdeeds
Now they're great memories
some Grand indeed

We gave all the nuns
a really great run
seeking out fun
and in the end
We were all one

Monday, June 1, 2009

My Last Ride

copyright 6/09

It was a beautiful Winter's day
Sky clear and sunny
Groomed horses all frisky
from the crisp morning air

We set out on the trail
walking our horses over the steep bridge
mounted at The Pavilion
using the picnic bench table

With Janet and Kathy, our saddles not the same
One Hunt Seat, one Western, and me on Dressage
Janet on Molly her thoroughbred mare
Kathy on Thunder her kind quarterhorse
Me on Cliff my big guy, my warmblood

All of us happy
All of us chatty
walking through warm up
ten minutes or more

I said, "let's trot" having passed the big gully
laughing and talking everyone merry
Three days past Christmas, Hannukah more
we needed this time with our horses
to recharge, get back to who we are

As we passed behind the house with the fountain
a big Blue Heron flew out
large wings spread full, very wide
Cliff in the lead spooked
as the bird flew out and behind
He jumped, startled, towards the canal
it all happened so fast
I knew what was to pass

I felt his legs get tangled
in slow motion we rode
while he scrambled around, going down
I was thinking, ..sit back..sit back
Oh no, he's not catching his stride
Mind racing yet clearly
I leaned back as his legs started to fold

Looking for my moment to dive
His nose hits the dirt
A thud, a grunt, sand sprays out from the side
his nose, then his cheek hit
as he went down on his right side
His rump high as I gear up to leap
lean to the left, don't want to go into a heap

The momentum is so great
there is no escape
Flung from an equine catapult
I surely did dive
holding reins and dressage whip
taught never to let go
I flew in the air, did a flip on high
Landing first on my head
then neck and my back

A sudden burning down my neck through my spine
My head hurt as I gazed up reins in my hand
What a beautiful bue sky
However did I land?

Thoughts getting clearer
remembering the trip
Airborne, flying high
Man, the ground looked so soft
Landed hard, not what I thought

Slowly turned, following reins in my hand
there was Cliff a little dirty
there at a stand
Looking at me on the ground, his eyes wide and snorting
My friends dismounted
"are you alright, are you alright?"
"yeah I'm fine",
brushing myself off
Knowing deep down inside
this is over
My last ride

"I need a leg up, I'm a little sore"
Janet cupped her hands small
standing only 5'2" tall
She hoisted me up
my size never phased her at all
Cliff was fine, I was not
Riders parted our ways
Cliff and I slowly, them at a trot

We rode back to the barn
my body losing adrenaline
Cliff knew I was hurt
On the buckle we rode
Each step closer
I was crumpling lower

Determined to reach our goal
Thank God for no dogs on the road
Reaching the barn friend and farrier there
I couldn't dismount
All I could do was shout
"Connie help me, I can't get off!"
Holding Cliff, Troy eased me down

Barely walking into the aisle
Connie removed Cliff's saddle and bridle
He was fine, thank God, none the worse for wear
She hosed him for me
Gave him hay
Put him away
While Troy good intentions
tried to stretch out my back
but to no avail

Pain soared through my body
as Connie tried to pull off my boots
I hit hard as she yanked
falling against Cliff's stall
banging into the wall

Cliff's watchful eyes alert
knowing more than anyone
how badly I was hurt
Boots off, brushing off dirt
Connie walked me to my car

Opened the door thinking everything will be alright
I can drive myself home
I've done it before, even at night

Thinking it through
on what I should do
But wait, what is this?
I can't bend my neck down
couldn't lean in, nor slide
Connie's face dropped to a frown
Determined, a way was found
to fold and manipulate me
into the soft driver's seat
All comfy I was finally in behind the wheel
focused and ready to tackle
the next ordeal

Made it across town my daughter was waiting
Went straight to bed
took off my breeches and shirt slowly
now my left arm too painful too heavy to hang
We wrapped it up close to my body
and I laid my myself down
careful, the throbbing pounding in my head
"Call a doctor", she said
"No, I'll be fine", I responded
"Just need to get rest"
While she shook her nurse's head

I was in bed for weeks
only able to doze
on my right side body battered
mind jumbled and confused

Couldn't eat, always dizzy, unable to stand
Tara did the best she could
running errands and helping me
with the work in hand

After X-rays and exams
had a concussion
and blood clot in the brain
broken collarbone and more
Neck fractured and damaged
hopefully not beyond repair
Still dizzy and fragile
I ski-ed down the stairs
falling and again breaking my collarbone
How much more?

Eight months I was down
unable to speak
Words halted and stuttering
Mind frazzled, body weak

Then suddenly in August
a cloud was lifted
Went back to work with a vengeance
even though I was pale and wilted

Pushed through the days, months, even a year
Seeing doctors for pain
needles put in the head and neck
What a drain

Finally they called me in one day
told me I had to be on my way
Couldn't keep up with the quotas is what they said
rather a political move
as I had won all the awards that day
for Betty Boop an up and comer,
the new golden girl
I was in the way
I smiled and accepted that day
packed up my things and waved
walked out happy free at last
to do what I craved

Twelve years and counting
Thankful for every day
Limbs aching, damage done
Still can't stop me
in any way

Bless God for small miracles
no matter how they come
An injury, an accident
Who knew that it would be the one
to send me hurtling through time
and through strife
To get to this spot, this place,
in my life

A painful journey with lessons to learn
When all is said and done
it was needed to occur

Met my husband and moved
brought my horse to our home
Puppies three, now horses two
A happy family has grown

Together we stay
a bit older and worn
But worth it every day